He woke with the same spiralling anxious thoughts that he would die today, he would have a terrible accident of some sort and he would die. The fact that he’d had this series of thoughts for many years and each day proved it wrong seemed to make no difference. He still had the thoughts. Sometimes they were accompanied by mental images of his death. The severing of his head seemed to feature quite often, as did being crushed by a speeding truck. More unusual recent examples were being catapulted into the air and landing on a spike, being electrocuted by pissing on a power supply and, his least favourite, nailed down to a wooden floor and eaten alive slowly, by crows and rats. This morning was the second time he’d had this thought in the past few months and an additional worrying thought that now joined the others circulating around his overworked brain, was that maybe this would become a new regular. Generally the thoughts came as he awoke, they followed him from the bedroom to the bathroom to the kitchen, paused for a moment when he drank his coffee, then resumed at full intensity for the rest of the day until he went to sleep. Sleep for him was a beautiful wondrous thing. In his sleep he dreamt of not dying, of living a happy easy normal life, occasionally even doing amazing things: eating in fine restaurants, talking to girls and once, touching a breast. This fantasy world was available to him whenever he slept so obviously, he tried to sleep as much as possible. He had every brand of sleeping tablet known to man and he drank enormous quantities of alcohol every day of the week. It was getting harder to get to sleep though and he had started waking earlier and earlier. His cunning plan this morning was to start a new exercise regime. He was incredibly unhealthy having spent most of his life indoors and most of the last 20 years drinking excessively. The advantage of being so unfit, he figured, was that exercise would exhaust him and he would sleep more – it couldn’t fail.
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The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:
The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Fresher than ever.
Crunchy numbers
A helper monkey made this abstract painting, inspired by your stats.
A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,300 times in 2010. That’s about 3 full 747s.
In 2010, there were 40 new posts, not bad for the first year! There were 33 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 6mb. That’s about 3 pictures per month.
The busiest day of the year was November 3rd with 32 views. The most popular post that day was Where did I put those parents?.
Where did they come from?
The top referring sites in 2010 were healthfitnesstherapy.com, digg.com, WordPress Dashboard, stumbleupon.com, and slashingtongue.com.
Some visitors came searching, mostly for “fiction””her missing leg”, arse, silly verse, inspriational words about trucking, and trippy writing prompts.
Attractions in 2010
These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.
Where did I put those parents? August 2010
A bit fishy March 2010
Talking out of my arse October 2010
5 comments
Thick and ugly July 2010
4 comments
Severed head November 2010
YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!!
I DID IT
This is a copy of my print of Tom Gauld’s glorious ‘Characters for an epic tale’. The plan is to use this for inspiration for writing, one character at a time.
See Tom Gauld’s work including this poster at:
Mrtibs's Blog 