Tag Archive: silly



On a recent walk in Surrey I came across a gravestone of an apparently ‘eccentric’ major who, at his own request, was buried head first in the woods, in 1800.

Made me think about the difference between mad and eccentric.

In the dictionay eccentric is decribed as :

Mad on the other hand is described as:
There must be an outdated law attached to these terms, a bit like voting. It used to be that you could only vote if you were of a certain standing or had enough dosh. When they changed the law to allow universal suffrage, I believe they forgot to include the mad/eccentric classification, a lesser known sub paragraph of the old law.
In this old law of 1422, which still exists today, clearly, only those earning an income above £50o a year (about £5 million in todays terms) are allowed to call themselves, or be referred to as, eccentric. Anyone else who is seen as ‘lacking retsraint’ or ‘deviating from a conventional norm’ must be refered to as Mad.
Its the law, sort of.

 

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Where did I put those parents?


Family Room BEFORE
Image by Mandajuice via Flickr

It wasn’t that he didn’t understand so much as that he just couldn’t think about it. Whenever he tried his mind became either completely blank or a mass of noise and scribble and chaos. Either way, the whole subject of housework was always problematic for him. Not that he expected anyone else to do it, well maybe he wouldn’t have minded, to be honest, but as he’d been on his own since hiding his parents, he had no one else who could do it. Theoretically, he could have hired someone but that would have meant earning some money and he hadn’t really worked that out yet either.

His parents’ money was running out fast, unless they had more hidden away somewhere, but if they did he couldn’t think of a way to find it. Asking them was out of the question of course as he’d forgotten where he’d hidden them. All he knew was that he’d hidden them ‘somewhere safe’, that old chestnut.

He’d tried the obvious places, behind the sofa, under the bed, in the shed, in the garage, in the kitchen drawer. He tried places that weren’t at all obvious, like the bathroom cabinet, his pencil case, his jacket pocket, the sugar bowl, the hamster cage and his old shoes under the bed.

All of this had got him nowhere. It had been 9 months now since he’d hidden them. He was a little bit worried about them, obviously, but mainly, he was worried about himself. How was he going to pay the mortgage when the cash ran out?  How was he going to get the house clean, get himself clean, his clothes washed? How was he going to clean up his act so that he could invite someone round or have a chance of meeting someone? He had no clue.

Although his parents were miniature parents, it didn’t mean he relied on them any less. He said to himself that he’d hidden them but in reality they were perfectly able to unhide themselves and find him, they were just choosing not to.

They were letting him use his initiative, something they’d banged on about for years. They may have been miniature but as far as he could tell they seemed to be just as big a pain in the arse as normal sized parents.

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Peeve is a small furry animal I found when holidaying in Outer Mongolia. I keep meaning to have him checked, to find out what he is, but but I’m afraid that if I do , someone will tell me I’m not allowed to keep Peeve – I did kind of smuggle him out of the country.

I had to put him in my underwear to make sure the customs didn’t find him. He seemed quite at home there.

Please dont tell anyone about Peeve.

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Smiling Fly

That fly is really getting on my nerves. It keeps buzzing round my head. It reminds me of Alan, he was a bit like that wasn’t he.

Yes full of energy

Well full of energy yes but too much of it, I mean he could hardly sit still or shut up.

Don’t speak ill…

I can’t help it, I’m only here for the wife. She loved him

So I hear…

What do you mean?

Nothing

No, come one, spit it out!

Well, just that she was quite friendly with him, you know…

Friendly?

Lets just say that he had to find ways of using that excess energy and she helped him out

How dare you!

You did ask

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I like writing

I like writing

I like writing

and I like to write

I like writing

I like writing

If you dont like writing you’re shite

Inspired by:

http://videosift.com/video/Not-The-Nine-OClock-News-I-like-Trucking-1980

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